Parenting Fails

Alright, no parent is perfect. I may be known to some as the baby whisperer but that doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes too! Things happen, some things that we could have controlled and some that we really couldn’t have! So now I’m going to confess to you some of mine (and Chappy’s) worst parenting fails!

• Nerds for Lunch: Chappy was letting Waylen shake a Halloween nerds box. I warned him not to let him eat the box but the next time I looked over the box is in Waylen’s mouth, soggy as can be, with purple melting nerds smeared down his face. He was sitting in Chappy’s lap facing away so Chappy didn’t even notice he had opened the box! So secrets out- Waylen’s first taste of sugar was actually not on his birthday!
• Door Stopper in the Mouth: Waylen went through a stage where he was obsessed with door stoppers. OBSESSED. We have this little, teeny one in our kitchen and one day he crawled over to it, removed the entire thing from the wall, and popped it into his mouth in one fail swoop. Rubber tip, metal spiral and all! I was literally right next to him, watching the entire time, and he still managed to get the entire thing off the wall and in his mouth! He was just so quick!
• Front flip off the Couch: Waylen loves to nose dive over the arm rest on our couch. As soon as I turn away he’ll make a dash for the edge. These days he doesn’t do it as much but there was a time if I even blinked he would try! Unfortunately one time I dove to catch him— and missed. He did a complete flip and landed on his back on the wood floor below. He cried for a second but I think I was definitely more traumatized by the whole event than he was.
• Dog Shit for Lunch: Okay so he didn’t actually eat the dog shit but OH MY GOD it was close! I’m pretty good about scooping all the poop in the yard before Waylen goes out but sneaky Little Ramone decided to drop a load while we were out there and I didn’t notice. Waylen did though! (Of course, ha!) Waylen had been picking up leaves in the grass when I noticed he was squatting for a little to long .. I ran over to see what he was doing and his mouth was wide open with a piece of poop in his chunky little fingers heading straight towards it!! I DIE!
• Stair Climber: I was carrying a bunch of stuff up the stairs plus Waylen so when I got to the top I couldn’t close the gate. Instead I brought us into the master bedroom and shut the door, or so I thought. I set Waylen down, then went to put the other stuff I was carrying down and turned around. The door had been opened (it must not have fully latched when I shut it) and Waylen was half way down the stairs! I was so lucky. He hadn’t fallen and was just as content as can be making his way downstairs. As scary as it was, this is also why I let Waylen climb up and down the stairs, (with supervision,) daily. This way he has lots of practice, feels comfortable, and hopefully won’t fall down if gate accidentally gets left open.

Alright guys, that’s it! Now tell me all your horrible parenting fails so I don’t feel as bad!